Mt. Everest

I went on a flight to view Mt. Everest today with a few classmates. It was a real quick thing but well worth it. Even though we were not able to see Everest so close (as falsely adverstised by many companies doing these tours) it was still wonderful to fly above the top of the world! :)  Then we received these cheesy certificates that said “I didn’t climb Mt. Everest, but I touched it with my heart!” hehe…

here are some of the pix:

Buddha Air

View from inside the plane

Snow cap mountain

View of Mt. Everest (peak on the left)

We did it! =)

Kathmandu, Nepal

This summer in Nepal has been just as educational as I could have asked for. I am learning just as much inside the classroom as outside among other students in the Tibetan language program as well as locals I have befriended here. With that said, the loss of my dearest friend Anne, has changed my life. Anything petty seems really trite right now. Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges or to hang on to regrets. The context of which I have been learning Buddhism has changed as well. There is so much emphasis on impermanence and suffering in all Buddhist literature and whereas before it seemed like a mere fascination with those concepts now it is really gone to a deeper level. It is not something I can really talk about I don’t think, but I do feel it. For a while, I felt embarrassed to cry in front of new friends in a foreign environment, but everyone I have reached out to has been more than supportive in their own ways. I can’t expect any support from anyone more so than they have already shown me. My family as well as Anne’s family have all shown a great level of love and support in this hardest and more surreal episode for me. I am grateful for the close friends who have reached out through emails and Facebook messages and comments.

The next week coming up will be the last week of the studying at the Rangjung Yeshe* Institute and the we will go to Pharping for our two week retreat- - part of which I hope to do in silence. I am finalizing my plans right now for after when the retreat is over, July 31st. If all goes well, I will be traveling north to Tibet for the remaining days in early August so I probably wont be updating the blog as much until I return back home.

In front of the Great Stupa of Boudha - Kathmandu, Nepal

* I learned that the name of the instiute, Rangjung Yeshe, is a Tibetan expression which roughly translates to self-arising wisdom.

With Love,
Zain

Anne Marshall Moore November 20th 1981 - July 5th 2009 Rest In Peace~ Rest In Paradise ~

I received an email from my father today and he let me know that Anne Marshall Moore left us on July 5th, 2009. I am sad to know I wont be able to attend her wake or memorial services. I found some bit of closure– the most I could hope for being half way around the world– when I had the chance to call Anne’s mother, Jackie, in the hospital and have her hold the phone up to Anne’s ear. I said my last words to her crying inside of a phone booth at an internet cafe, and Jackie told me that Anne’s eyes fluttered in response to my voice.

I am grateful for having my father contact floral wreath makers in Kansas City, and also for making arrangements with my wonderful Aunty Naseem out there to bring a beautiful wreath on my behalf. I thank her for her efforts as well. I know Anne’s family was happy to have an extended family member be present on my behalf.

I wrote to Anne’s grandma to print the following note and a picture for me:

Dear Anne,

You were my closest friend of the heart. You taught me so much over the last so many years. I remember when I first met you in Lawrence in 1999. And then our time spent together in Paris and your visits to California. I will cherish all our long distant phone conversations for hours on end that would take place at any time during the day or night. We were both there for each other anytime we needed to talk to one another. I deeply admired our unconditional love and friendship that we built together. You inspired me to cultivate a path of positive experiences in my life that I could not have done alone. You recognized and supported all my creative endeavors–you were my number one fan!

I will never be able to make another friend like you but I will seek your spirit of love and compassion in everyone. You were an angel among us all. Now you are in a peaceful place watching over us. I will keep you ever so close to my heart and soul. Your spirit will never pass away. Thank you for everything beautiful Anne. I love you so much!

Yours,
Zain

His Holiness Dalai Lama

Today I went to a monastery where they were celebrating the 74th birthday of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. It was nice to see with some of my classmates but I was still in melancholy thoughts thinking of Anne. It feels likes like I am having a dual kind of experience. On the conventional level my emotions are stable and I am able to keep a smile on my face and get along with summer school in the day time and dinner with classmates at night. However on a deeper level I am full of tears inside and occupied with sad thoughts about losing my dearest friend.  I remember it would feel strange between Anne and I to even call each other “ex’s” even though we dated 8 or 9 years ago. We seemed to have managed to develop a friendship afterward that transcended any attachment to the past, yet we could still share memories of good times without feeling uncomfortable. I valued and respected so much my friendship with her. I hardly ever refer to anyone as a “best friend” but she really felt like that kind of a special friend. And now she is passing away, and I don’t know how to really deal with it…

Celebration of Dalai Lama's 74th Birthday

With my new friend, Buddha, the nicest waiter from Flavor's Cafe

With Angel Anne in Santa Monica, CA - 2004

Half way around the world I just received very disturbing news that my ex-girlfriend and dearest f riend, Anne Moore, is about to pass away. I spoke with my mother as well as Anne’s brother, father, and grandmother and they all said its a matter of hours before she leaves us on the physical plane. I have been in tears all morning. Just when I was getting used to this new environment all of a sudden Kathmandu is looking strange and unfamiliar again. There have been moments when I really felt like I was hallucinating. I wish I could fly to Kansas City and be with her in the hospital. Even though she is in an unconscious state and just breathing her last breaths, I would still like to hold her hand and just let her know what an amazing friend she has been since I met her in 1999.  I wish I could just call and have her mother hold the phone next to her ear so I could  say my last words to her before her soul parts from this earth.

Life’s not going to be the same without you Annie… I love you and am praying for you! You were always an angel. You will always be in my thoughts.

Thamel @ Fire

Well after two weeks of school, some of my classmates and I thought it was time to go to Thamel and have a fun time. First we went to Namaste Cafe which had real kick back floor seating and we ordered some yummy food as well as sheesha (hooka). We watched a great cover band play fun songs from Hendrix, CCR, Pearl Jam, and even Nirvana After we pre-partied there we asked the waiter about any good spot with music/dancing and he recommended this venue called FIRE.  At first people were shy to get on the dance floor but by the end of the night it was packed. I would like ot think we kinda started the party And the DJ was awesome…playing Akon remixes to Michael Jackson songs, hehe…

Lets go!

I made a new friend in class, Bhasker. He is a Nepali M.A. student and he invited me to his place after class. I went on a ride around the Kathmandu district on his motor bike, which felt like a safari ride (even though I’ve never been on one before but it was a lot of fun!) He lives in a nice house on the outskirts of of Kathmandu City. Then he took me to a wonderful view of the Gokarna Forest Resort–golf course, yoga, gym, massage, spa, etc. It was a good day Thanks Bhasker!

Click to view images…

Dinner and ice cream with the Rinpoche :)

It seems much longer than two weeks have past but I guess there is a lot to take in everyday that makes each day seem so full. The environment still feels new but naturally more familiar than last week, which ended with a nice pool party and dinner. I was fortunate (and hungry) enough to be ahead in line for the dinner and luckily made my way to sit by Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche, the abbot at Ranjung Yeshe Instiute. He is a short man with a comical laugh and he always says he has nothing else to talk about except for wisdom and compassion. He asked the students their interest in wanting to study Buddhism and learning Tibetan and he accepted all answers with a humble welcome. I found out that there is a ’satellite’ retreat center from Rangjung Yeshe a few hours north of San Francisco. Definitely something to check out in case I can’t make it back to Kathmandu for a while =)

Meditation class with Lama Gerry

Classes started on Monday. 8AM we had our first a meditation class, led by Lama Gerry. He is a wonderful teacher with a jolly energy, always smiling and joking. We began with the Shamatha (calm abiding) style meditation–a concentration practice designed to enhance sustained voluntary attention. For the most part I felt comfortable in this sitting due to similarities in posture from Chan (zen) meditation I had been attending in the last year at Berkeley. Except we were instructed to keep our eyes open looking downwards. This was not something I was used to so it made the meditation more challenging. We used a rock as a point of focus to aid concentration. The following days we switched from Shamatha to guided meditation, also something very new to me. It’s just a matter of habit to become comfortable with different styles–I think there is a good reason as to why its referred to as a practice

Buddhist Key Points with Khenpo Janpo Dhendon

Then at 9:15 is the class for Buddhist Philosophy. This is a pretty mellow session following along an in-depth study of the 14th centurey Tibetan classic The Thirty-Seven Practices of a Boddhisatva. The class is instructed in a traditional manner so everything is taught in Tibetan and then translated by James Gentry, who is an amazing translator! We get a break in-between classes to stretch and go to the restroom (south asian squatting style Then our final class at 11am is with Khempo Jampa Dhonden. This is much more interactive and we can interrupt to ask questions any time–and there are many questions on our minds! The teacher is basically equivalent of someone with a PhD in Buddhist Studies and is really good at addressing all our western misunderstandings and skepticism. This class focuses on Buddhist key points–we are still just extrapolating the four noble truths. Pretty dense stuff!

Shedra Restaurant

Then its lunch time at noon! I didn’t know lunch was included as part of my tuition payment. They make the best food at the Shedra restaurant–adjacent to the monastery. Everyday they cook up some yummy vegetarian food. This is also the spot for the best wi-fi access in all of Boudhanath.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays we have a discussion which help clarify points and discuss other important topics with our course translator, James.

Other than the brief update on classes, I checked out the towns of Thamel and Swayambhu, as well as attending a Hip Hop show! =D

Eternal Knot

Saturday started off with another wonderful teaching given by Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche. This time discussing ‘identity’ and the illusory use of language. He emphasized that Buddhism is mainly concerned with how “things really are” and our delusions keep us from seeing the nature of dependent origination. The real big “sin” in this way of life is really just ANGER. He advocated the virtues of love and kindness should be practiced at all times–I think its easier said than done but the mind can be definitely trained to do so as the “partitioner” continues to work on decreasing anger and pacifying afflicting thoughts.

After the teaching, a group of us did lunch at Shechen’s vegetarian cafe and then made way to Swayambhunath (an ancient religious complex atop a hill in the Kathmandu Valley).  According to wikipedia, it is also known as the Monkey Temple as there are holy monkeys living in parts of the temple in the north-west… and we certainly saw plenty of monkeys! We walked up what seemed like a 45 degree incline of 360 plus steps in total to reach the stupa at the top. It was beautiful visit and I’m glad I went with the flow again and came along with my classmates.

Today I had to decompress from the busy week. Although there was a great hike some students went on, I decided to just have a nice and easy kind of day and I enjoyed uploading pictures to flickr….which you can see here: flickr.com/photos/nepal-2009. Later tonight night we will be watching a movie called Milarepa, who was one of Tibet’s most famous yogis and poets and a major figure in Tibetan Buddhism. We are also a reading a book about him in class called The Life of Milarepa.

I think this next week’s gonna be pretty chill, catch up on some reading and more terrace top dinners over looking the great Boudha stupa. But more fun stuff coming up next weekend. Apparently the Blues Brother’s will be performing for 4th of July! and I’m sure there will be some big celebration event for His Holiness Dalai Lama’s birth next Monday, July 6th.